


What Does Family Mean to You?

by Samsamiam



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: (that one isn't relevent i just need everyone to know), Band as Found Family, Bittersweet Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Siblings, Reggie Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Needs a Hug (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:13:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27012559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samsamiam/pseuds/Samsamiam
Summary: “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”“I have too,” Richie says and Reggie knows that was true, knew this was coming, Richie is 19 and has managed to stay for as long as he could to protect Reggie but he can’t stay forever and it’s selfish of Reggie to want to keep him here.“Please don’t,” Escapes Reggie’s mouth in a whimper before he can stop it.Richie kneels in front of him and Reggie hates that he does that Reggie’s 12 now he doesn’t need to be a babied. “Reg,” Richie says, softly.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Reggie, Luke Patterson & Reggie & Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms) & Original Character(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 175





	What Does Family Mean to You?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay listen this started as a simple projection fic about Reggie not handling fighting better but then I gave him a brother and then killed that brother and this is what i ended up with so here I'm proud of it even if it's not what i started out with.  
> This was done very stream of conscious style although i did edit a little I'm not great with grammar.  
> TW: for talk of death and descriptions of panic attacks (let me know if i missed any)

**October 1990**

“You know you won’t get anywhere right? No ones going to bail you out this time,” Reggie hears his dad call after his brother and he knows it’s bad this time because Richie doesn’t grace that with a response.

Reggie expects to hear the door slam but instead he can hear someone coming up the steps so he scrambles to climb into the back of his closet, in the compartment he knew his father never bothered to check.

“Reg?” Richie’s voice calls out in the room and Reggie knows that means its safe for him to come out because Richie would never call for him if he was with their father. So, Reggie scrambles out of the closet in a less than graceful tumble of limbs that Richie always promised he would grow into. “Hey buddy,” Richie says once Reggie is on his feet.

Reggie knows what’s happening and he briefly wonders if he crawled back into the closet if that would stop Richie. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“I have too,” Richie says and Reggie knows that was true, knew this was coming, Richie is 19 and has managed to stay for as long as he could to protect Reggie but he can’t stay forever and it’s selfish of Reggie to want to keep him here.

“Please don’t,” Escapes Reggie’s mouth in a whimper before he can stop it.

Richie kneels in front of him and Reggie hates that he does that Reggie’s 12 now he doesn’t need to be a babied. “Reg,” Richie says, softly.

“Take me with you,” Reggie tries instead.

“I can’t do that,” Richie says and Reggie’s body slumps, “Mom and dad would never let me and I can’t support us both right now but I’m going to start saving and get somewhere stable and I promise the minute I can I’m coming back for you okay?”

“Okay,” Reggie says, quietly.

“It’s going to be okay buddy,” Richie says pulling Reggie into his chest. “We’re going to get out one day and we’ll never have to talk to them ever again.”

Reggie doesn’t respond just sobs silently into his brother’s shoulder. Reggie doesn’t know how long they sit on the floor like that but eventually Richie gets up and packs what little he can carry and heads out the door with one last, “I love you,” thrown over his shoulder to Reggie as he leaves. Reggie doesn’t know this as he sits on the floor but that’s the last time, he’ll see his brother alive.

**May 1984**

Their parents are loud again and it’s so overwhelming and Reggie can’t find Richie and Richie always makes everything better he just wants his brother. He tries to stifle the loud sob that escapes his mouth but he knows he doesn’t do it well and if his dad wasn’t yelling over it, he would have come up there and gave Reggie something to cry about. Reggie is crumpled on the floor of his and Richie’s room wishing he knew where his brother was when the door to his closet bursts open and Reggie jumps almost out of his skin.

“Hey Reg!” Richie says, crawling out, “Guess what I found.”

“What?” Reggie asks, sitting up and frantically wiping his face.

“Come on,” Richie waves and then crawls back into the closet. Reggie tentively follows him into the cluttered closet.

“Richie where are we going?” Reggie asks as he scrambles over the piles of clothes on the floor of their closet.

“Watch this,” Richie says, turning on a flashlight and handing it to Reggie as he pulls the door to the closet closed. “Here point it there,” Richie says pointing it at a point in the back of the closet. When Reggie does that Richie pushes on it and the panel pops open and slides aside.

“Woah,” Reggie says softly.

“It’s our own secret hide out,” Richie says crawling in and taking the flashlight so Reggie can follow. “See look we can put the panel back and no one will ever know we’re in here.”

“It’s quiet,” Reggie whispers.

“Yeah that’s the best part!” Richie says with a small smile Reggie is too young to decipher. “And we can make it our own, bring some blankets and stuff in here and it can be our own secret fort no one else knows about.”

“You’re the best brother I coulda ever asked for Richie,” Reggie says hugging him.

“Nah that’s you,” Richie says ruffling his hair and hugging him back.

**October 1993**

Reggie’s mom gets the call almost exactly 3 years after Richie leaves and his dad tells her not to tell him. They forgot he was home again, something they’ve been doing more and more since he joined the band, so they don’t know he can hear them. He goes tearing out of his house after that. He doesn’t even know where he’s going all he knows is his brothers dead and he isn’t supposed to know and everything is too loud and he didn’t get to say good bye and his parents weren’t going to tell him how could they not tell him? does this mean he cant go to the funeral?

His still spiraling when someone grabs him by the shoulders and he cries out and wrenches his whole body backwards and he falls to the pavement. “Reggie. Reggie! Calm down it’s me!” He feels like he can’t breathe and his vision is swimming he doesn’t know what to do is he dying he feels like he’s dying and if he dies does he get to see Richie?

“Reg.” There’s someone kneeling in front of him and for one traitorous moment he thinks its Richie and his body calms this was all a big mistake he misheard and Richie’s come back for him everything’s going to be okay but then his vision clears and the person swims into focus and it’s just Alex with Luke and Bobby standing over his shoulder looking frantic and scared. Reggie lets out a sob and curls in on himself.

“Reg come on what’s wrong?” Alex says softly, reaching out before hesitating remembering what happened last time, he tried to grab Reggie.

Reggie doesn’t respond just throws himself into Alex’s arms and sobs. “He’s dead.” He sobs. He knows he’s making no sense, they don’t even know about Richie, but he doesn’t think he can get anything else out because he feels like someone has tore a hole in his chest and he can’t focus on anything else.

“Who Reggie?” Bobby asks, “Who’s dead?” and that’s when Reggie realizes that Luke and Bobby have kneeled on either side of Alex who has his arms wrapped tightly around Reggie.

“My brother,” he manages to stutter out between gasped breaths.

“What…” Luke starts but Alex cuts him off.

“Let’s go inside,” he says trying to guide Reggie so he’s standing. As Reggie gets to his feet, he realizes somehow, he’s ended up at Bobby’s garage and that’s when he remembers they were supposed to be rehearsing today.

“Shit,” he says and they all turn to him. “We’re supposed to be practicing. I’m so…”

Bobby cuts him off. “Don’t you dare apologize this takes precedent okay? You come before the band. Let’s just go inside and we can deal with everything else from there okay?” he asks, putting his hands on Reggie’s shoulders. When Reggie nods and Bobby slides his arm over Reggie’s shoulder and guides him inside. When they’re all inside they arrange themselves on the couch so that they’re surrounding Reggie with Luke pulling up one of the chairs so he’s sitting in front of Reggie.

“Okay can you tell us what happened?” Luke says calmly.

So, Reggie does his best to explain through hiccupped breaths. The fighting, his brother leaving, how the fighting only got worse, how he wasn’t even allowed to talk about Richie most of the time, the fact that his parents weren’t going to tell him, the knowledge that he was never going to get to say goodbye to his brother because he wasn’t even allowed to know he died, everything came tumbling out before Reggie could stop any of it.

“Reg,” Alex says softly when he finally exhausts himself. “I’m so sorry.” He rubs his hand on his shoulder.

“Do you know when it is?” Luke asks.

“What?” Reggie asks.

“The funeral,” Luke says.

“Yeah it’s the first week of November at St Catherine’s,” Reggie says, “That’s how I know my mom was telling my dad when it was.”

“We’ll take you,” Luke says at the same time Bobby says, “Well why don’t we go?”

“What?” Reggie asks, “You don’t have…”

Luke cuts him off. “I know but we want too.” That’s when Reggie starts to realize that maybe family isn’t just his blood but it can also be the people you care about. These boys, his bandmates, are willing to drop everything to make him feel better and that’s more than either of his parents have ever done for him.

Reggie lets out a sob he didn’t know he was holding. “Thank you,” he sobs, “Thank you so much.”

They all chorus reassurances and hug him. “It’s going to be okay,“ Alex says, face buried in his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Reggie says, “One day I think it will.”

**December 1987**

It’s Christmas Eve and his parents can’t stop fighting long enough to have one good holiday. Richie isn’t home, he’d snuck out about an hour ago to see his current girlfriend for a little before he had to come home. Reggie’s nine and knows that he should be able to deal with the fighting by now but the sound of a plate smashing still sends him scrambling to the safe space he and his brother had created all those years ago. He doesn’t know how long he’s in there when he hears the panel slide open and see’s Richie climb in.

“Hey Reg,” He says, sliding the panel closed again.

“Hey Rich,” Reggie replies quietly, “It was just loud couldn’t focus on uh…” he frantically looks around for something that he could have been working on finding only a book that he knows is Richie’s.

“It’s okay if you’re scared Reggie,” Rich says, face soft, “You’re just a kid you shouldn’t have to deal with them fighting all on your own, I’m sorry I left I just needed to get something I thought maybe they would be better because it was Christmas.”

“Its fine,” Reggie snaps, “I’m not a kid. I wasn’t scared.” He crosses his arms.

“Okay well sometimes mom and dad yelling scares me so if it scares you its okay.” Reggie doesn’t answer just turns away. Richie smirks. “So, I guess you don’t want your present then?”

“Present?” Reggie says, turning back to him.

“Oh, now you’re interested?” Richie says, laughing and socking his shoulder.

“Maybe a little,” Reggie leans forward, “Can I see it?”

Richie hands him a badly wrapped box. “It’s not much but I hope you like it

Reggie rips open the packaging and “it’s a necklace?” Reggie says holding it out towards Richie, it’s beaded all the way around and way too big for Reggie’s small frame with a long stone at the end.

“It’s a pendent so that even if we aren’t together, I will always be there to protect you. If mom and dad ever fight and I’m not here to protect you just touch it and remember I am always with you in here,” Richie says, pointing to his chest.

“thank you. I love it Richie. I’m never going to take it off.” He hugs his brother.

**November 1993**

Alex’s parents drive them all to the funeral and he has no clue how Alex got them to do it without asking too many questions but they just drop them off and tell them they’ll come back to get them when the service is over. When Reggie walks in he is overwhelmed by the number of people, the number of boys his age, there are inside.

“What…” Reggie trails off, “Maybe this is the wrong service,” he starts to back out when a brown-haired woman and with a little girl’s hand in hers comes up to him.

“Wait!” She calls, “You’re Reggie, right?”

“Yeah. I… who are you?” Reggie asks, taking another step backward before Luke puts a calming hand on his upper arm to ground him.

“You probably don’t remember me I think we only actually met once but Richie talked about you so much I feel like I know you,” She says reaching her free hand out to shake his. “I’m Charlotte I was your brother’s wife.”

“What?” Reggie takes another stagger step back and this time it’s Alex who stabilizes him. “My brother wasn’t… he didn’t… what?”

“I know this is a lot to take in but when he left it was because I was pregnant with Riley.” She motioned to the little girl next to her who gives a shy wave. “He wanted to tell you but he couldn’t let your parents find out, he didn’t want your dad knowing, and he didn’t want you to have to worry about keeping it from them.”

“I don’t understand,” Reggie stutters.

“Your brother and I had been dating for about a month when we found out I was pregnant with Riley and he knew he couldn’t live in the house and support me and Riley. His biggest regret was leaving you there to deal with your family alone. It was something he struggled with for the last three years. He spent his life planning to get you out and moved in with us but every time he tried to go back your father stopped him from seeing you. He volunteered at so many youth programs trying to fill the hole you left, the hole he made when he left you. Your brother was an amazing man and used his short life to touch so many people and I’m so glad to officially meet the boy who inspired all that in him.” She sounds on the verge of tears but she still radiates so much love in the way she talks about his brother it physically hurts Reggie.

“I can’t do this,” Reggie says turning on his heels and bolting out of the church. He makes it to the steps before collapsing and shoving his head between his legs to try to calm his rapid breathing.

“It’s okay,” A soft voice accompanied by a hand, Alex’s his hands are always so cold, says, “Just try to breathe.”

“I think we should go,” Reggie says, lifting his head, “I don’t think I can do this. That isn’t… Richie didn’t… I don’t think I knew my brother at all.”

Luke is standing in front of him and he says, “We can leave if you want none of us will stop you, we will find something to do until Alex’s parents come back but I don’t think you should.”

“I can’t stand there and find out the person my brother was around me was a lie,” Reggie says, voice cracking.

“He wasn’t,” Bobby says, “Just because he had a wife and a kid and a lot of people who he clearly touched doesn’t mean you were any less important to him. Listen we don’t know much about your family so I’m not going to try to speak for your brother but from what you said, from what Charlotte has said, you meant the world to him and he was clearly important to you. Like Luke said if you want to leave right now, we will we don’t have to go back in there but I think it is something you will really regret if you don’t.”

Reggie puts his head back between his legs and takes a couple deep breathes and blinks the last of the tears from his eyes. He inhales and lifts his head. “Okay let’s go back in.”

Alex pulls him to standing and Luke claps him on the back and says, “I’m proud of you man.” And they walk back into the funeral as a unit.

**June 1984**

The first time Reggie takes off on his bike without his brother’s hands to guide him Richie jumps up and down, cheering and scoops him up and spins him. “I’m so proud of you Reg!”

**July 1995**

There is no one breaking point that summer that makes him leave and move into the garage he just decides one day that enough is enough and no one will come looking for him at this point so he mine as well move in with his real family. He leaves a note just saying they shouldn’t come looking for him and he’s not coming and then in one spiteful moment he knows he’ll regret later he writes _‘you were wrong Richie came back for me’_. he knows they’ll know he’s lying. He hopes it makes his mom cry. He hopes it makes his dad break something important. He hopes they know he knows they’ll know he’s lying. Most of all, despite everything, he hopes they get better, hopes they mend their relationship or finally get that divorce whatever makes them happy in the end. He hopes maybe one day he can come back and they’ll apologize and they’re relationship will never be perfect but he hopes one day they can make it okay.

He dies a week later.

**August 2020**

“Hey Richie. I hope wherever you are you can hear me I hope you’re somewhere that isn’t here I think being a ghost is bad ass but I think it would just upset you so I hope you’re somewhere you’re happy. I really thought dying would bring me back to you but I guess I didn’t count on it happening so soon either. I just wanted you to know I got out. I got away from mom and dad. I never got the chance to go to your grave after… before… well you know. I also wanted you to know I found Charlotte and Riley when I came back. Riley looks so much like you it’s scary. From everything I’ve learned about her she’s just like you. She’s going far in life. I’m so sorry you couldn’t watch her grow up but I just want you to know I’m here now and I’ll watch over her. That kids going far and I’ll be damned if I let what happened to us happen to her. I still miss you so much. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it but it’s getting easier. The band could never replace you but it feels good to have people around me who actually care about me like you would have. So yeah that’s really all. I just wanted you to know that you can rest easy I’m doing good and I’ve got Riley for you now so you can rest knowing you left a legacy of amazing people who are doing fine. I’d like you to meet my new family one day. I love you Rich and I miss you every day. I hope, if I ever figure out how too and decide to cross over, I can see you again but if I never can thank you for everything you did for me. I couldn’t have asked for a better big brother.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty proud of this so I hope you all like it! Kudos and comments are appreciated


End file.
